Saturday, March 10, 2012

Stand In Awe

There are things in life that literally take your breath away.

I have experienced this before... when my babies were born, when I came to terms with the fact that Uncle Larry was going to die, the moment I thought Jayce was dead...

Heather's pregnancy is the only things that has ever repeatedly taken my breath away.

Every time I think about her positive pregnancy test.

Every time I see her belly that I thought I would never see.

Every time she calls with a crazy pregnancy question.

Every time I think about her delivering that baby.

Every time I think about holding that miracle baby.

Every.Single.Time. It all takes me breath away. God has taught me a lot through Eric, Heather and their baby. More than I can honestly explain to you.

I can't wait to get my hands on that baby. I was excited for my babies to be born, but I am overly excited about this little girls arrival!

I can't help but wonder what life will be like for Heather once the baby comes. We all know she will be overjoyed, a little tired, proud, slightly emotional... but what will it be like to be a Mom for her? It will be different than when I became a mother. Very different. I wasn't told "you could possibly never get pregnant". I didn't go through the heartbreak of the type of loss that they did with their first baby. The life that she is about to lead is one that I will never fully understand. She is about to walk a path of infertility that some never get to. I can imagine that she will feel grateful for this precious gift... but at the same time guilty that she was chosen and not the others. I have been praying that as the time comes near for her to walk this road, she will be ready.

Ready for the roller coaster of emotions that are about to hit her.

This little girl is gonna be so rotten folks. So, soooooo rotten!


Mama said...

I just wanted to say I completely understand the road she is about to walk and it is a beautiful and sometimes scary and big one. I would take nothing in the world for my miracle Blaze and the 12 long years it took us to conceive him. He is such a blessing. I know the losses before and since him just make his miracle that much sweeter.

heather said...

I'm pretty sure she will love her Aunt Amy a ridiculous amount. Probably because you are going to spoil her...oh wait that's already started ;)

I guess that's just payback for the years of spoiling we've done to your kids!

Rollercoaster is right. That started the day we found out about her.

So thankful for you for putting up with my dumb questions and ridiculous fears!!!

Rachel said...

I'm with Shana... understanding that roller coaster and that crazy sense of guilt that can come with finally meeting that little blessing and feeling heartbroken for others who deserve it too.

This has been one PRAYED FOR baby girl! Thanking the Lord for His incredible gifts!