Make a Resolutions to not Live by Resolutions

We all do it. Every year we sit down and figure out what our resolutions will be. People have started to catch on to the fact that resolutions are forgotten shortly after being written and it has started a new trend. Now everyone is picking one word to focus on through the year. Perhaps it will work... or perhaps it will become another resolution disaster.

I have done both. For years I have made traditional resolutions and for a year or two (it escapes me at this moment) I have picked a word to live by. I did not feel as though either was better or worse for me personally. I have had great success with both, while also failing at them as well.

So whats really going to work? What will actually keep people focused and dedicated? I am convinced nothing. Why? Because life is hectic, that's why. Because we change, day by day. Because our life is in a constant state of transformation, no matter what limitations we put on it in January.

I don't beat myself up if I don't keep my resolutions down to the letter, or at all for that matter. I don't loose sleep over not letting one word change my life in a mere 365 days.

Life is a learning experience. Don't put your growth in a box. Instead, let it stretch and have the freedom to change with you.

Perhaps a monthly journal would help. Each month you could jot down how you grew, what God has shown you or a lesson He taught you. Then in January 2015 you can look back and see how much growing and changing you have done. Is change and growth only acceptable if you predicted it the year before? I should think not.

Now I do think having goals for the year is great, don't get me wrong. I am not bashing on people who pick a word to focus on, or people who list out their resolutions for the year.  Personally, I have a few categories that I use to make my goals for the year (financial, physical, spiritual, relationships).  I try to limit myself to 1 or 2 goals per category (written very short and concise). So there you are, proof I am not shaking my finger at all you out there making resolutions, I am simply asking you to take a different look at the traditional route for a moment.

Just live. Enjoy every moment of the life God has blessed you with. Don't get so hung up on what you have in store for your year that you are not able to enjoy what God has in store for you. Let that be your resolution.

Clearing Out The Clutter

I am warning you this is a rambling post and basically is for me.... you may or may not get anything out of it. Great opener right? Super stoked to keep reading huh? I thought so.... proceed....

I was talking to a friend a few days ago and during our seemingly mundane, ordinary conversation, she mentioned, "I just don't need one more thing everyday that takes me away from Jesus...". It really started me thinking about my life. Not only do I not need one more thing, I really need to clear out a few things that are already in my life. 

I struggle with lots of things in my life, mostly bad, but some good. I find that the harder ones for me are the good ones. It's good to want to be a great mom; it's good to want to be a great wife or friend or steward or servant.... whatever title you can imagine, it isn't a bad thing to want to do a good job. What is bad however, is letting that pursuit become an idol in your life. 

For me, I struggle hard with this. I want to be a good mom, but I let that run me... a lot. I want to be a good wife, and I let that run me..... a lot. All of these things take turns slowly becoming hue idols in my life. What does an idol do? It keeps my focus all wrapped up on it so that my focus can't be on Jesus.  The farther satan and get my focus from Jesus, the happier he is. Satans goal every single moment of my life is to keep me from Jesus. He can be pretty frank for the most part, but e is also quite sneaky. Using things that seem good in my life to do his dirty work. I am just fed up with it to be quite honest. DONE. 

My home is important to me. It is a huge blessing from God and I want to take care of it and treat it as such. Unfortunately my home has become a huge idol in my life. So I prayed that God would help me to truly understand what it is that He wants me to do and what I need to let go of. I am slowly (and I mean SLOWLY) learning that it is okay to let a few things go. Not forever, but just for a moment. Long enough to steal a few tiny kisses from Jayce. Long enough to hear an interesting fact Lula Mae found in a book. Long enough to have a tea party or build a robot out of legos. Just long enough to give my kids a memory. A keepsake that no fire can destroy, no robber can steal, no moth can eat. A moment they will be able to look back on and say, "I loved that my mom ____________.". 

And so, I needed so system. This is laminated and taped to the refrigerator. 

Having "focus days" has taken lots of pressure off of me. My kids and my husband know what the goal is for the day so that if there is something that hasn't really gotten done they can look and say "Oh, okay. Mom is going to work on that on Wednesday, not today.". Now don't get me wrong, I am not the only one responsible for these tasks, but I am the one who oversees these tasks.

This helps me realize, visually, that all those chores will still be there tomorrow. They aren't going anywhere. While I am not someone who can just do absolutely nothing, I am learning that it is just fine if EVERYTHING does not get done. My home and how it is taken care of should not be an idol. Balance... one of the hardest concepts of all time. Am I right folks?

Every morning the kids and I do a devotional together and read the Bible. I really love this time with them. They are still warm and snuggly from their nice cozy beds. They lay on me as though to say "Mommy here are my burdens, help me give them to Jesus". We read this together just two mornings ago...

Do not be overwhelmed by the clutter in your life. By "clutter" I'm not just talking about all that stuff under your bed. I'm including all those endless little chores that you need to do sometimes, but not necessarily now.

All those little tasks will eat up as much time as you give them. So, instead of trying to do everything at once, choose the chores that really need to be done today. Then let the rest of them slip to the back of your mind, so that I can be in the front of it. 

Remember, your goal in this life is not to check everything off a to-do list. It is to live close to Me. Seek My Face all throughout this day. Let My Presence clear away the clutter in your mind, and flood you with My Peace.   

Folks, take that and really ponder it for a moment.

I love how sometimes the kids devotional hits my struggles perfectly. Is it bad that my adult brain needs it broken down that far sometimes. Sigh.

And so, with all my rambling, I just urge you to just let some stuff go. Trust me, for this OCD chick, that is so hard.... but I am trying. Why? Simply so that I can spend more time every single day seeking His Face and allowing His Presence to clear away the things in my life that keep me from Him. My system is not flawless by any means, but it is helping.

On another similar note, this is what we have posted right underneath our Daily Focus chart....

... our family schedule. I have a stack of laminated, magnetic strips with all sorts of different things on them. A few of them never change (wake up/ alone time with God, breakfast/family Bible time being prime examples) while others can be rearranged to meet our needs for that day. Now I can't lie, sometimes I go days... or even weeks... without changing our schedule. Never the less, it is a great tool and it helps the kids and I stay focused and be productive while still remembering that it is okay to let things wait until another day and really put our focus on God. I still strive to be a good homemaker, I am simply choosing to do it while trying to live close to Him in every way!

Budget Revamp

In May I realized our budget was in trouble. In our family I handle the finances, with support from my husband. I am the more organized one which helps me handle the budget. However, in May, I realized I needed help. I needed my husband to step in and be a second brain. So we looked, and crunched and looked some more. At the end I felt much better about everything and we had a new plan. The new plan has been working so well!

Let me tell you about our old budget first. I had tons of categories and I would have a piece of paper in a binder for each one. Then, I would take every receipt and calculate how much money of each category had been spent. Then I would write that amount on each corresponding page. Confused? Yeah I know. It was incredibly time consuming and very hard to keep up with spending. I found myself over spending in almost every category on a monthly basis. I was so disappointed in myself an overly frustrated that I was not being a good steward. I even felt belittled by my husband a few times when he would make comments about the bank account (he did not realize that it was bothering me, so don't worry. He was only making general comments but since I was already insecure about the budget it made me feel attacked.

So the budget now? Simplified by a million! I combined most of the categories and narrowed them down to the basic. The kicker? We are on the cash system now! Oh my goodness, if you have never done it.... you should! It has been the best budget system for us yet! Each week I get out our set amount of cash, then once it is gone.... we are done spending! This system does require more planing with my shopping but that has been helpful to me. It has shown me how careless I was before. It has also shown me how little we really need to be happy. I am enjoying this new system for lots of reasons!

So what do you and your family do to help with your budget? 

Day 7: Surrogacy Update

I posted this on Carried and I wanted to share the same post on my blog:


"Today I had my very first appointment! It went great. They took what seemed like a ton of blood, but it was fine. The ultrasound was great too. I was pretty nervous about what it would be like... mostly if it was going to be messy (filling someones uterus with saline while simultaneously doing an ultrasound just seemed messy in my head) but also if it was going to hurt. Luckily it was smooth sailing and was no big deal. The doctor was incredibly excited about my uterus, which was a little weird, but he was even more excited about my ovaries. Not gonna lie, for a strange man to ohhhh and ahhhh over my ovaries is a bit odd but I guess it was a compliment. So the overall conclusion was that my uterus is a happy home so thats AMAZING! The blood work should be back in about a week and then we are all go! Beside me right now is our PROTOCOL! Ahhhhhhhhh! I have read it nearly 50 times.... it is music to my little OCD ears! All these dates and instructions helps me feel ready. I like feeling prepared. I also just took my very first birth control pill to start the hormone casserole that is going to be my life for the next few weeks. HERE WE GO!!!!!!!!!!!"

Yep, we have our protocol! I also already have my next appointment scheduled, it will be more blood work and another ultrasound. This time we will be checking my hormone levels and making sure via ultrasound that my body did not ovulate. After that we continue my hormone therapy and press forward toward the big day.... transfer day! Last  night when I took my first pill it officially marked the beginning for me. Like, now we are doing this.... like oh.my.word.this.is.happening.and.its.happening.now..... wow. Folks we need lots of prayers now. Pray for God's will to be done, pray for smooth appointments, pray for sanity for all of us! This is just one of many updates to come so be ready! 

 Oh, and here are my super cute kids. They are getting themselves ready for Disney by pretending to ride "roller coasters" on our bed.

Guess What We Are Wating For....

THE CONTRACT!

Yep! We have finished working on the contract and it has been signed... well half way. Considering that the 4 people involved in this journey live in two states it would be hard for us all to sign the contract at the same time. Therefore one party has completed the big signing stage, and we are anxiously awaiting our turn! After that....

BOOM!

The ball is ROLLING! More than rolling, the ball will be soaring through the air!

Are you all ready for this? See, because here is the deal... all of this is gonna be crazy emotional for me, and even more so for Esther. We have no idea how smooth or bumpy the next few steps are going to be. We have no idea what God has planned. One thing is for sure though, He is in this and I am trusting him 100%, which we all know is not easy all the time.

When God laid surrogacy on my heart, I had no idea how much He would stretch me through the process. I am learning a lot about myself, my relationships with people, my dependance on Jesus... so many things.

When you feel like God has spoken to you or laid something on your heart,  I am telling you... go for it! It is an amazing feeling and an even more amazing journey!

Don't worry, I will keep you posted on what is coming up next!

New Year Resolutions For 2011

Happy 2011 everyone! I can't believe that another year has come and gone. I think 2010 was a great year. Our family was extremely blessed this year and we have so much to be thankful for. Not only was God in the big things this past year, but He was in the small ones too. 2010 taught me so much. Mostly, it taught me that God is in control and I have nothing to worry about. Funny, I feel like I have to learn that lesson over and over... I guess I am a slow learner. 2011 is going to be a great year, I just know it. Here is my list of resolutions that I hope will help make my year great!


1. Continue to strengthen my relationship with God. Pray without ceasing. Work on scripture memorization.

2. Read my one year chronological Bible

3. Read 5 books

4. Come in under budget in at least 3 out of the 7 categories each month

5. Devote one hour each morning and one hour each afternoon during nap time to myself.

6. Keep my heart focused on being a godly wife and mother

7. Enjoy every day to the fullest and cherish moments with my children and husband

8. Increase our giving

What Is To Come?

It is hard to believe that 2010 is almost over and that we will soon be ringing in a new year. What does that mean for you? Another year of resolutions that are written with best of intentions and slowly forgotten by Feburary? Another year of trying to break bad habits only to hit Thanksgiving and realize all you have broken is a few fingernails along the way? I hope not. I hope that each one of you will make resolutions (very realistic ones) and work towards them. I am a firm believer that if you have goals, both big and small, you accomplish so much more. However, goals should never be unrealistic. Now I am not saying you shouldn't dream big and reach for the starts. You should. Just realize if you are unable to reach that particular goal it is fine. Look back and see the progress you have made towards that goal and be happy with that. Let that motivate you to keep trying. Also, don't let your goals for yourself get in the way of God's plan for you. Be willing to make adjustments when you feel like He is leading you in a different direction. He always knows best, so try your hardest to listen! I suggest not having too many resolutions. Remember, less is more! Also, I like having a few resolutions that are actually measurable (for example... save money, organize something, read x number of books...) I think it helps to be able to say "Yes, I really did that". You can't always do that with some goals (like find time for myself, eat less junk food, stick to a routine....). Overall I would say just have fun with it! Go back and read this post about making your resolutions list appealing. I used this method and it worked great for me! I am going to be posting my resolutions for 2011 on January 1st and I hope you all will do the same! I would love to check out your resolutions!

Before we stay up way past our bedtime, say happy new Year and kiss the one we love though, we must celebrate the birth of a really swell guy. You may know Him.... His name is Jesus!!!!! So, off you go to enjoy this very quickly passing holiday season! Just so you are aware, we set to close on our house in 12 days!!!!!! Ahhhhh!!!! The lady wants to possibly move that up if we can!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! THAT'S PRETTY EXCITING!!!! Sorry for the yelling. Anyhoo, that means we are 18 days away from our move!!!!!! So please excuse me if I am not pouring out the comment love these days. Just know that I am keeping up with all of you and can't wait to get back into the blogging routine *sigh* as soon as we get settled into the new house!!!! It is going to be great!!!!

Happy New Year!

Okay, not quite yet... but we are creeping closer and closer to another years end. That means a new beginning. A fresh start. Each year we all make that famous list of resolutions that will ultimately be forgotten by Feburary. What a waste of time. Why create resolutions if you don't intend to even give them a second thought? Here is a tip, when 2011 rolls in try writing your resolutions on a brightly colored piece of paper. I even write mine in a colored sharpie and decorate the paper with stickers. The point is, make it appealing to your eye. Perhaps cut up some pictures and paste them on the paper. Put things that you love on it, things that give you motivation. After your art work is complete, hang it up. I would suggest the refrigerator, your bathroom mirror, above your desk in your office... just somewhere you will see it at least once a day. Read through them each day. Ask yourself how you think you are doing. Should you make changes in your routine to better meet your resolutions? Did you think of another one you would like to add? That's just fine. I have a feeling if you try this your resolutions will be fulfilled. It can be very discouraging and disappointing to look back at your list, a year later, and realize you accomplished nothing. I urge you to try this for 2011! Go ahead and think about what your 2011 resolutions may be! It also isn't too late to revisit your 2010 resolutions and get to work on them. There are still 4 more months left! Give it your all!

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men"
Colossians 3:23

My 2010 resolutions


Happy Monday everyone! Good news.... no one seems to have caught Charlies cold! Hopefully we won't! Plus, we did our weigh in for P90x on Friday... I lost 4.5 pounds!!!!! WOO HOO!!! I guess I can't give up on it yet. I only have about 5 more pounds to go! I feel like I am starting a good week! God's grace and mercy abound! I am beyond blessed!

Hello Third Trimester!

Today I am 28 weeks pregnant! Wow! I can not tell you how fast this pregnancy is going compared to Lula Mae's! Dr. Erickson won't stop Jayce from coming once I hit 36 weeks so I am possibly 8 weeks away from delivery! Although I am 12 weeks away from my actual due date. I must say that I did not go full term with Lula Mae and I don't think I will make it there with Jayce either. He is much bigger and stronger and my belly is HUGE! Well, it is huge compared to what I looked like at 28 weeks with Lula Mae. Maybe it is because my body just knows what to do this time around, I am not really sure! So, what will the next 8 to 12 weeks hold for us? Lots of alone time with Lula Mae (for both Charlie and myself), lots of budgeting, lots of cleaning, lots of organizing, lots of praying, lots of preparing Lula Mae (trying to at least) and lots of anxiety. Yes, I know "be anxious for nothing", and I pray about that every day, but I am only human and I do worry and have anxieties. I hope that everyone will pray for us as we come to the end of this pregnancy. We are ready for this little guy to get here, but at the same time we aren't... I know that sounds confusing but any parent who has welcomed their second baby into the family has probably had these same emotions.



Now I need your help. I am having the hardest time deciding on a bible verse to go in the nursery. I have it narrowed down to a few and I would love to see what everyone else thinks! Here are my ideas:

• Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. ( Joshua 1:9)

• Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind; and, Love your neighbor as yourself. (Luke 10:27)

• Be Joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)

• I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always. As long as I'm living my baby you'll be. (obviously this is not a verse, but I love it too)

As you can see there are too many choices!!! I just don't know which one to use! I love all of them... and that is the problem! So leave me a comment and tell me which one you like the best! Also, if you have any other verses that you like that would be good in a nursery feel free to leave that too! I am hoping to get the room painted in the next 2 or 3 weeks (that could be up to my husband and his helper though in all honesty)! I am ready to have the decorating behind me so we can all sit back and enjoy it! Thanks for all your help!