Thursday, October 24, 2013

The Person I Am On Facebook

Deception. That really is the best way to describe it.

I am not the person you see on Facebook. My life does resemble that person, and the things I post are true life events, but in the grand scheme of things I am not that person. Not even a little bit.

On Facebook I am super woman, I am an amazing Mom, I should win Wife Of The Year, my home is perfect, I am always put together and wearing makeup, my kids are sweet little angles who say the sweetest things, I spend countless hours filling myself with God's Word, I am always filled with joy.... and the list could go on and on. This is the person I let you see. Why? Because the true me is just not good enough to post for the worlds viewing pleasure.

The real me forgets about the same load of laundry all day until I finally have to run the washer again just to be sure nothing got molded.

The real me sprays a little air freshener through the house before my husband comes home to give the illusion that I "cleaned". 

The real me does not show my husband the respect he deserves on a daily basis.

The real me does not submit to my husband the way that God commands, and if I do it is with a bad attitude... which basically means I haven't submitted at all.  

The real me rarely puts on clothes that don't closely resemble pajamas, much less fix my hair or do my make up.

The real me is the Mom I hoped I would never turn into. One who yells and says things to her kids that I regret as soon as they fly out of my mouth.

The real me has kids who disobey and throw fits.

The real me squeezes in quiet time with God and rushes through my Bible time simply to be able to say I have done it that day.

The real me is rarely joyful and has an attitude of  selfishness and ungratefulness.

See what I mean? The real me just would not get a lot of "likes" on Facebook, and who wants that? We all want to be "liked" and so we show the world only what we want them to see... the good stuff. The truth is, there is a whole lot more bad stuff in me than good stuff. I long to be the person I am on Facebook.

Luckily, I don't have to be perfect. I am not expected to be the perfect wife, be the perfect mom, have the perfect house, have the perfect kids and have my life completely together. God knows I can't be these things on my own. His only expectation of me is that I come to him, broken, ready to accept the gift He has bought for me at such a great cost. He wants me to know how broken I am so that I can fully understand how precious His gift is. He expects me to wake up each day and ask for His help to be all the things that He calls me to be. He knows my life is not the picturesque one that I post to Facebook, and He loves me in spite of that. Yet I just struggle with loving myself in spite of all my failures.

I want my life to live up to the one I show the world on Facebook, but instead of focusing on that I want to simply focus on living a life worthy of the Gospel, a life that brings glory to God. I love God with all my heart, soul and mind and I want that to show on more than just Facebook. I want that to show to my children, my husband, the cashier at the store, my small group, my friends, my family, the stranger on the bread aisle with me.... I want it to show each and everyday, to the world!