My Brain Has Left The Building

My brain has officially checked out. Yep. It isn't even mid-November yet and I feel like I am ready for the new year.

Life has been so full and busy these days. That is great I guess, except I feel like it has been so busy that I haven't been able to keep up with what's really important.

Jesus is what is really important. End of story.

With how crazy things are these days I am skipping my quiet time, rushing through prayers, squeezing in my devotional. What is that showing my kids??? It is showing them the exact opposite of what I am called to show them!

I need this holiday season to be different than any other. I need it to be low key, and calm, and 100% focused on Jesus. Not just Christmas, but Thanksgiving too! I desperately need things to slow down so I can gain some perspective.

Raising my kids is one of the most important things God has called me to do. I am seeing how difficult this job really is these days. I am also seeing how fleeting my chance to raise my children is as well. I will be my kids Mom until the day I die, but I only really have a small window of opportunity to raise them. The way things are going right now, I am ashamed to say, society is really raising my kids... not me. That is just not acceptable! I am aware that when my kids are adults I can still impact their lives and influence them, but not like when they are young. Not like I can today. Today is where I need to be.

Today is where I need to always be focused. Showing my kids how to live for Jesus today.

When the new year rolls around I want to have a better handle on understanding time. I want to move into 2014 with a feeling of "I can do this".

If I'm lucky, perhaps my brain will join me...

The Person I Am On Facebook

Deception. That really is the best way to describe it.

I am not the person you see on Facebook. My life does resemble that person, and the things I post are true life events, but in the grand scheme of things I am not that person. Not even a little bit.

On Facebook I am super woman, I am an amazing Mom, I should win Wife Of The Year, my home is perfect, I am always put together and wearing makeup, my kids are sweet little angles who say the sweetest things, I spend countless hours filling myself with God's Word, I am always filled with joy.... and the list could go on and on. This is the person I let you see. Why? Because the true me is just not good enough to post for the worlds viewing pleasure.

The real me forgets about the same load of laundry all day until I finally have to run the washer again just to be sure nothing got molded.

The real me sprays a little air freshener through the house before my husband comes home to give the illusion that I "cleaned". 

The real me does not show my husband the respect he deserves on a daily basis.

The real me does not submit to my husband the way that God commands, and if I do it is with a bad attitude... which basically means I haven't submitted at all.  

The real me rarely puts on clothes that don't closely resemble pajamas, much less fix my hair or do my make up.

The real me is the Mom I hoped I would never turn into. One who yells and says things to her kids that I regret as soon as they fly out of my mouth.

The real me has kids who disobey and throw fits.

The real me squeezes in quiet time with God and rushes through my Bible time simply to be able to say I have done it that day.

The real me is rarely joyful and has an attitude of  selfishness and ungratefulness.

See what I mean? The real me just would not get a lot of "likes" on Facebook, and who wants that? We all want to be "liked" and so we show the world only what we want them to see... the good stuff. The truth is, there is a whole lot more bad stuff in me than good stuff. I long to be the person I am on Facebook.

Luckily, I don't have to be perfect. I am not expected to be the perfect wife, be the perfect mom, have the perfect house, have the perfect kids and have my life completely together. God knows I can't be these things on my own. His only expectation of me is that I come to him, broken, ready to accept the gift He has bought for me at such a great cost. He wants me to know how broken I am so that I can fully understand how precious His gift is. He expects me to wake up each day and ask for His help to be all the things that He calls me to be. He knows my life is not the picturesque one that I post to Facebook, and He loves me in spite of that. Yet I just struggle with loving myself in spite of all my failures.

I want my life to live up to the one I show the world on Facebook, but instead of focusing on that I want to simply focus on living a life worthy of the Gospel, a life that brings glory to God. I love God with all my heart, soul and mind and I want that to show on more than just Facebook. I want that to show to my children, my husband, the cashier at the store, my small group, my friends, my family, the stranger on the bread aisle with me.... I want it to show each and everyday, to the world! 

The Softest Painful Things Ever....

So, I am pumping, for technically the very first time.... yeah.... ummmmmmm.....


Two words....


TOWELS and SHOWER


My worst enemies. How can two of the softest things you can think of hurt so bad?


Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. 


I will survive this..... but again I say.... ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!!!!

Don't Shave Your Thighs!

I turned 26 this year. Even though I am still "young"... this year I felt so "old".

I remember my mom finally letting me shave my legs when I made the soccer team in 7th grade. I begged and begged her and she finally let me. However, the deal was I could not shave more than 2 inches above me knee.

WHY???? What in the world is the difference????

The difference is complex verses simplicity.

I miss simplicity. I miss only shaving the bottom portion of my legs.

Now I have the ability to shave my entire leg. I also have bills, appointments, schedules to keep up with, responsibilities, kids to raise, a husband.... and the list goes on and on.

Remember how long a month seemed as a kid? Why is it that a year goes by at the same speed now that we are adults?

Why is it that we insist on growing up so fast? I can remember thinking "I can't wait to be able to shave my thighs!". I remember having my mother make me fake bills to pay. What was the rush?

I tell my kids all the time to enjoy being little. Lula Mae is really taking it a bit to literally (imagine that). She gets very upset when her birthday comes around and she has to move to the next age. I am trying to get her to a healthy balance ;-) I just don't want them to rush through some of the best years of their lives! In the blink of an eye they will be adults with adult problems and the blissful years of innocence will be gone.  I want them to be able to look back and think to themselves that their childhood didn't slip through their fingers like water.

I certainly miss not shaving my thighs. 

Normal Life

Last week was CRAZY BUSY, so this week, the kids may look like this....

 

 because I just don't have the energy to even care what they dress themselves in. Sigh. I am just thrilled that one of my kids has the ability to dress themselves, even if her style is... ehhhh.... eclectic? 

We are on summer break from school, but Lula Mae has been asking to do some work so I am not sure how long our break will actually be. Jayce is interested in "school" as well so it looks like my class just doubled for next year ;-) I am going to be buckling down and getting my school closet in order and ready to go! That is number one on my list right now. 

 Jayce is having a rough summer. His skin is bad. Really, really bad. We have an allergist appointment tomorrow to try and figure out if he perhaps has developed another allergy. He is also really asserting himself these days.... not in a good way. We have lots of fits, lots of time outs, lots of apologies, lots of spankings.... just lots of the nitty gritty part of parenting that people don't like to talk about. He is not quite as strong willed as Lula Mae, but he is still a pretty far cry from a compliant child. I know this is bad, but I have to remind myself that God made him perfect and just the way He wanted him. 

We have signed the contract for the surrogacy and it has been given back to all respective parties. Pretty soon I will begin my end of the deal. I'm basically PUMPED! 

Charlie and I took the kids to the beach for a day. It was interesting.  Jayce did not seem to like the sand, but he loved the water. Lula Mae even seemed to enjoy the water. I was pretty shocked! It was a fun day and I loved seeing them have so much fun. 

Normal life has just kept me so busy these days. I love normal life though. That is where amazing memories are made, that is where life lessons are taught, that is where God teaches us the most. However when normal life keeps me busy, my poor blog, like yours I am sure, get pushed to the back burner. I have been sneaking around in the shadows visiting your blogs and trying to keep up! I hope you are all having a great summer! 

Be back soon with more random updates from our crazy busy life!

Dibs

We all did it as kids.... and even as teens.... and lets not fool ourselves, we still do it as adults.... 

"I got dibs!"

Now I am not sure if it is okay to call dibs when you are referring to holding a new little life, but I am just covering my bases here seeing as Heather is 36 weeks and 3 days now. Meaning, that baby could come literally anytime! Therefore, I am publicly declaring dibs.

People, dibs is legally binding, just like eni-meni-miny-mo and paper-rock-scissors. Just saying. 

I can't wait to hold this little miracle in my arms for the first time! I am sure there will be tears, and I despise crying in front of people, but just this once I will not care. Not one bit. The anticipation is so intense!!! 

FYI- no that is not Heather's mom. This is our pastors wife. They just happen to look just alike. 

What I Noticed While People Watching At Disney World

Fanny packs are making a come back.... sadly.

I counted nearly 10 people with mullets. Are they coming back? I would say that is worse than the fanny packs.

Super high side pony tails are working their way back onto the scene. Can we call say..... OH NO! Ladies, just say no. Just say no to the horrible look of the late 80's and early 90's, especially the side pony. Don't you dare.

While on the subject of late 80's and early 90's fashion.... all the neon colors are not cute on anyone. Some fashion should not be brought back. I guess this is another year where I will look out of style cause there is NO WAY I will wear the big baggy off-one-sholder shirts in traffic cone orange. You may as well wear a trash bag ladies, it is just as attractive!

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Wishing For Time...

You know it has been a while since you blogged when you had to try 3 different passwords to get into blogger. Wow.

So these days I have about zero time for "fun". I would love to add about 6 more hours to the day.

I have lots of time for breaking up fights between the kids, cooking, cleaning, organizing, Bible time, playing and reading with my babies..... but ZERO time for fun.

So today I am just here to say hi. I hope you had a GREAT Christmas. We did :-) It was busy, but fun. Lula Mae really got into the story of Jesus this year and that made me so happy. Jayce is really enjoying having new toys to play with. I for one am ready for January!

I will be back in 2012! Enjoy the rest of 2011 everyone!

A Great Christmas Book

I wanted to find a good book to really explain Christmas on a 3 year old level. Now, understand that I don't mean a book about the birth of Jesus, we have tons of those.... something different. There are soooo many books out there about Santa and trees and presents and elves.... too many honestly. Well, I found one that is GREAT!!!

It is short and very easy to read, which is great for younger ones. It talks about lots of typical Christmas things [Santa, presents, Christmas plays, candy canes, elves, etc.] but then explains the true meaning of Christmas. It talks about how fun all the other things can be, but how the real reason for Christmas is Jesus. I love the illustrations and colors of this story too. This book really gets right to the point in a very cute way.

We have quite a few books about the birth of Jesus and I think they are wonderful and very important, but this book is a great companion to any of those! This one focuses on all the things that bombard our little ones around the holidays. I want my kids to know that all of those things are okay, but that we need to focus on what Christmas is really about.

This book would make a great stocking stuffer! Check it out here.

Random Junk I Need To Unload (In Blog Form)

Well, I am back! We have a desktop computer now! Can I say.... I MISSED YOU ALL!!! Even though I missed you all terribly, my little hiatis was so nice. It showed me where my priorities were messed up. It showed me what amount of internet time is "necessary" and what about of time is just wasteful and downright crazy. I have made a much better picture of what my priorities are and plan on sticking to that from now on. So as much as I missed you... I need to miss you.... ya' know?

Moving on...

Have I told you that HEATHER IS PREGNANT??? I mean I know some of my followers follow her as well, but some of you don't and if you have been reading my blog at all you know Heather and Eric's story. Well I am happy to report that she is almost 15 weeks and doing amazing. I mean, she is dealing with normal yucky pregnancy things but she is doing it will such joy! She is asking me lots of crazy questions and I am LOVING it!!! They will be finding out what it is in a few weeks so stay tuned!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Our December calendar looks like the holidays threw up all over it. We have so much going on that I am pretty excited for January to get here. I love Christmas but not the busyness of it. Way too stressful to be enjoyable.

EVERYONE at our church is getting pregnant. I am refusing to drink the water at church at this point..... no really. I hope God gives us more babies.... but right now I am enjoying my 2 little ones. So for now, I am sticking with bottled water and skipping the water fountain.

I have tons of craft posts for you that I am excited about! Get ready to be inspired!

Beware of a future post with the title "Poop Boy". It's going to graphic. It's going to be so gross you can smell is through your computer. It's going to contain the word "poop".... a lot. Weak stomaches beware.

My brain is all over the place trying to get my pictures and financial files over onto this new computer. I'm not allowing myself to get sucked into the computer though... in time it will all get done.

Happy Wednesday guys! I promise I will get caught up on your blogs soon. Although it seems like some of you wrote like a bazillion posts so it may take me a while!

Our Loss

Right now we are grieving the loss of our dear laptop. It will be deeply missed by Charlie and myself. Any one want to make a donation for the replacement? No? Well, can't hurt to ask right. Right now I am concerned about getting my pictures and videos and financial record off of my poor dead computer. Sorry if I am a bit sporadic with my comments, but I am getting on line when and where I can. I have so many great posts to share with you but no way right now. Sigh. Oh well, if this is all I have to complain about I guess I can't truly complain. Happy Thanksgiving to you all. Enjoy all that black Friday shopping.... I think we will be joining the chaos this year to look for a new computer. Oh what fun..... not! See ya' when I see ya'!

Normal Life

I keep trying to find time to blog, time like I usually have to blog. The truth is, when Charlie is away for training "time to blog" kinda goes out the window. When you have to be Mommy and Daddy it is obvious that things on my to do list are not going to get done. When I have to pick between laundry and blogging.... as much as I would rather blog.... I have to pick laundry. So right now I am very focused on life. Perhaps a little too focused. Too focused on things I think are important, and not focused on having some fun with my kids. My work load is just maxed right now so I have a hard time allowing myself to slack off. Want a whirlwind of an update? Here we go!

*Jayce weighs 20 pounds!!!!! He had an 18 month check up yesterday and he finally hit 20 pounds. Not only that, he is back on the growth curve! Granted he is in the 1st percentile, but hey that is way better than being not in the percentile at all! He goes for his allergy test soon so I will let you know what we find out there. I am hoping to find out that there is not an actual peanut allergy and it is just a skin sensitivity issue. Time will tell. Oh and yesterday the child decided to try talking! He still is only saying a few words, but in just one day he doubled his vocabulary!

*Lula Mae is writing her name, along with lots of other simple words. She loves writing! I also counted up how many memory verse she has now and she is up to 20! My 3 year old can recite 20 bible verses! How is that possible???? She mastered simple subtraction about a week ago and is now on to reading an analog clock. She can already read a digital clock, which I can say is pretty helpful to me! So basically, the child is learning, learning, learning! Lord may she please keep this love for knowledge!

*I have been praying about what to do about our budget for a while now. It is rough folks. Rough! Well rough in a very American view I guess. We are still so much wealthier than some people in the world. I have to remind myself that there are people who live off of WAY less than we do and are so much more joyful. Jesus needs to be enough for us! Regardless our budget needs a makeover so that we can be better stewards for the money that He has given us. I am thinking of starting the envelope system in January. Any tips on that?

*I am going to take a trip to Florida with my mother, aunt and daughter. Not a vacation really, but a trip to see family. I am excited to get away with Lula Mae. We need some one on one time.

I have been peeking at your blogs here and there when I get a free moment, but I will catch up with all of you when I return from Florida. I miss you all and am ready to be just Mommy again. Playing both roles is beyond tiring!

Confessions....

Confession #1: When Charlie is away I have trouble getting out of bed.

Confession #2: I thought I took my shampoo to the gym today but I took Charlies shampoo instead. It's a body wash shampoo combo. Now I smell like a man.

Confession #3: Every time I get a whiff of my hair it makes me happy because it smells like Charlie.

Confession #4: When Charlie is gone it shows me how much I take him for granted. Distance really does make the heart grow fonder.

Confession #5: I can't stop thinking about Oreo cookies. Why does junk food taste so good?

Confession #6: When I am alone I notice how incredibly weak I am. Charlie being gone makes me see how much I need God.

Confession #7: I'm going to get a couple of Oreo's....

Confession #8: Jayce can say only a few words. He "talks" A LOT, but words are not so clear. He says two words perfectly..... mine and no ..... yep, it's just great fun hearing those two words all.day.long.

What A Predicament

So my wonderful hubster brought to my attention that there are a bazillion blogs names Organized Chaos. So I won't lie, I did not do my homework and investigate the title Organized Chaos. My bad. Still, I like the name because it pretty much sums my world up. So to all you other Organized Chaos blogs out there, this is my apology. I didn't mean to steal your totally creative name. Can I just say though, I like your play on words. I mean that's pretty obvious though since I did steal it. I will say I thought I was being totally original.... I mean I'm okay with being wrong on that one.

And now that I have that off my chest. whew.

The hubster and I are creeping up on our trip! I don't know what I will do with myself. How will I function without a diaper bag, without needing to hold a hand, without needing to ask about potty breaks (other than Charlie), without having to hand out snacks, without needing to break up fights.... I really don't know what it is going to be like without my babies. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited. Just imagine someone who is a workaholic being forced to take a vacation. It is not the easiest thing for me to let go, of anything, but especially not my kids and my home. Quite a few months ago I started making some great progress on my anxiety and fear. Now that the trip is upon us I have had some major backsliding. It's discouraging, but at least I know where it is stemming from. With that said, pray for me! We need this trip very much but my brain is really having trouble comprehending that.

Testing....1,2,3......

So I have officially changed my url. I'm not a .com or anything, but none the less it is different. I switched from one blogspot to another and now I am wondering...... is there anybody out there????? Just leave me a comment if you have found your way here again folks. I plan on heading to all of your blogs soon and letting you know the new url too. Think of this post as a test. Nothing fun to share, simply trying to see if you are all still with me!

All These Changes!

So as you can tell, the changes have begun! So far my name has changed from Destination Life to....

Organized Chaos

Fits, no? I fell like it fits what my blog is about much better. When I picked Destination Life it was a very quick, like the way it looks written out kinda decision. I really love the change. Little things have also changed, fonts and some colors and what not, but the name change is the most drastic. I also have a verse on my new header that I really love.

1 Thessalonians 5:18
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will for you in Christ Jesus.

I put this on there because it is a great reminder to myself that even on days that are stressful and crazy and chaotic I need to give thanks. I hope now when you see it, it will be a great reminder for you too. In ALL things, give thanks.

I also added a "tag line" onto my header. I needed something to quickly explain what my blog is about.

One Mom striving to live a simple life and find joy in all the chaos.

Quick, simple and to the point. So, how are you all doing with this change? Is it driving you nuts and you want me to put it all back? I hope not. I hope you will enjoy my new space and continue to read along with me here.

So tomorrow is going to be the day when I change my web address. I'm not sure how this is gonna work... I'm not sure you will be able to find me.... so that part is making me nervous. We shall see how it works. I hope you will all try to find me again and change your blog rolls and news feeds and all. If you don't hear from me for a while.... please come looking! I don't want to loose you all.... all like 8 of you!!!!!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Warning!

I am working on giving my blog a bit of an update. I am feeling the need to change the name so that it fits me and my blog a little better. I have been toying with the idea for quite a while now, but Heather really sparked my interest. Have you seen her new blog, or should I say website!? Yeah, it is fancy. I'm not wanting to go all out fancy, just do a few updates and what not.

That being said, be on the look out for a new name, a slightly new look and a new web address! Are you as nervous as I am? Don't worry, same old me posting my same old posts.... just in a different environment. Don't forget to change your blog rolls, google reader or whatever when that time comes because I wouldn't want all you folks to miss out. Do not fret, I will let you know when the switch is coming.

Ps. Jayce peed in the potty last night. How totally random is that?

Nap Time Epiphany

When you have had "one of those mornings".... oh you know the morning I'm talking about.... the one where one kid wakes up in a goofy mood, the other wakes up with a present in their diaper, the milk spills before it reaches the table, the goofy mood slowly turns into a bad mood, the dentist appointment gets forgotten briefly and is rescheduled for half and hour later..... yep, that morning. The one that makes you feel like this.....google

After a morning like that what person wouldn't be ready for nap time? I was! I flipped on Netflix and picked a show to veg out in front of.

Someone tell me why I picked Nanny 911. Am I mad at myself or trying to punish myself? What in the world was I thinking!

My epiphany: Nanny 911 is never allowed to be on in our house during nap time. Ever.

Confessions...

I want a Frosty so bad I can barely contain myself....

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.... but the kids are napping so I can't go get one right now.

My kids hurt my feelings sometimes even though I don't know they are doing it.

I mean why will they not fall over themselves to play with me like they do with Daddy? Why am I so boring?

Lula Mae's new level of sassy is making me very nervous. We try to call it personality but lets face it.... she is just out of line and we need to correct this before it is too late. Why is she 3 going on 16? Oh dear goodness the teenage years are going to be crazy!

I just saw that the Duggars have another book out and I want to order it really, really bad.

I forgot my shoes on Monday when I went to the gym and instead of going back to get them, I dropped the kids off in the nursery and just took a shower. Yep.

Since I have started the gym I have gained weight. Perhaps I should have gone back for my shoes huh?

For a moment I thought I was ready for another baby.... then I looked at what the budget is going to look like with this whole gluten free thing and it made me realize that waiting until some of our debts are paid off is a much better choice.

Even though I am nervous about my trip with the Hubster, I am really looking forward to it. I am stoked to get to ride the rides with him again.

I have been trying to think of a way to meet Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar and their amazing
family.... still working in it though.... any ideas?

Today is Tuesday but it feels like it should be Friday..... what is going on????

I feel like such a hypocrite when I tell Lula Mae that she needs to show people that she has Jesus in her heart by trying to be like Him. I need to be a better example to my kids. They deserve it.

Crazy Love is an awesome book.... but it is making me dig deep and ask myself some tough, tough questions. Thought provoking to say the least!

Even after writing this entire post all I can think about is that stupid Frosty!

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Sometimes I just need to empty my brain, and my conscience. What better place to do it than on my blog for all my millions followers (or 38....close enough....), well lets be honest all 9 of my readers ;-) You should try this sometime guys. Trust me I love reading a good list post of random information!

Doing My Best

At this moment, I am doing my best.

I'm doing my best to hold the bed down. Sure would hate for it to get up and go somewhere.

I am also doing a bit of preventative maintenance, if you will, on the TV and Wii.

FYI our Netflix streaming is working perfectly.

I am also testing out all of our pillows for proper comfort.

I can't really tell yet if they are okay or not, but I am sure after an hour or so of testing I will reach a decision. Can't rush perfection.


Yesterday I read a post that my bloggy buddy Tiffany wrote. So today I am taking some time for me. Yes there is laundry that needs to be done. Yes there are toys that need to be picked up. Yes there is a huge list of things that I could be doing... but today, I am doing nothing. Well, nothing during nap time. I am catching up on blogs, watching some TV, having some quiet time, reading my Bible and I just may take a nap! Who knows! The possibilities are, well I was going to say endless but that just seems like a lie, so lets just say there are a few possibilities. A few very relaxing and enjoyable possibilities.


I hope you will take some time for you today. I have neglected this very important thing for the past few weeks so I am going to get back into the swing of some me time.