Friday, October 1, 2010

Hesitation... Count To Ten.... Take A Deep Breath... Pray

I am very hesitant to share this with you all. I feel as though I do not share about Lula Mae's good days, only the bad ones. Bad is a harsh word.... her tough days. So this post is very hard to write. It is hard because I know how good Lula Mae can be and it hurts to see her disobey and make poor choices.

Our parenting strategy is - praise 90% of the time and discipline 10% of the time. We believe that praising a child, even for little things, builds them up. We want to build our children up, not break them down with constant discipline. it is important for your children to feel as though you notice the good things they do, and not just the bad. If you always react to their bad behavior, you can rest assure that they will notice. They will begin to behave negatively simply because they know you will notice and react. If you react to their good behavior they will also notice and their behavior will react in much the same way. Although we don't want to break our children down with discipline, there are moments when discipline is necessary.

Last night it was necessary.

This is Lula Mae's shelf... empty. The only things left are her Bible lessons, word cards and books.

This is her toy box... empty. Not a single toy. Where are all of her toys you ask?

Right here, in the closet. Yep, every single toy she has is in the closet. This is where they will stay for today. Perhaps tomorrow. It just depends on her.

I asked her nicely to clean up before bed last night. I asked twice. Nothing. Then I asked her one last time. She began to whine and tell me to clean it up. My blood pressure began to rise. I popped her. She cried and whined more. I sat with her and asked her to please clean up. She continued to disobey. Our dance continued for a few minutes. Might I add that we had company over watching this lovely display of parenting. Yep, rub a little salt in that wound. Then she swat at me. My blood pressure spiked to the point that I am pretty sure smoke was coming out of my ears. I then began to put all of her toys in the closet. Every last one of them. I told her that when she learned how to clean up she could have some toys back. She cried. Bedtime was tough due to this fabulous display. Folks, it's gonna be a long day.

How is it that a little girl who is so loving, smart, joyful, kind hearted and appreciative behave like this? I feel as though sometimes she is a stranger in our house.

I don't know that I handled the situation the best, but it is in the past now and there really is nothing I can do about it. Just ask Rafiki...

Yes I did just link a very serious parenting post to a Lion King scene. Don't you realize I have Disney running through my veins? Where do you think Lula Mae gets it? Anyhoo....

Many times I think Lula Mae's moods change with the weather. like Rafiki said, change is good. Change means she is growing, learning and developing. However, like Simba said, change isn't easy. Especially not toddler changes. I know that dealing with Lula Mae's tough day's is not exactly like being whacked in the head with a stick by a monkey, but it sure does feel like it sometimes. I hope that with every whack of the stick, I learn. I want to learn how to be a better parent. I want to be sure to parent the way that God wants me to. God is trusting my husband and I to raise Lula Mae and Jayce for Him. That's just a little bit of pressure to never give up and do the right thing, not the easy thing. The right way is never the easy way. I love my children so much. I have to say, our good days with Lula Mae far outweigh the bad, and although I enjoy the good days, I appreciate the bad ones. They remind me how much I need Him. I hope I never feel so confident in my parenting that I forget that I need Him to help me every singe day.

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. -Colossians 3:20

Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod and save his soul from death. -Proverbs 23:13-14


Tiffany said...

Honey, you did exactly what I would have, and have, done. It is never easy because they are constantly growing and changing, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It is imparative that she learn to obey you. It will be ok.

Regina said...

akoona matada--i so have done that and have taken beds away and made them sleep on the floor when they got into a fist fight----she will learn--way to be strong

Brandi said...

I think you did the right thing too. :) You're gonna have days like that... sometimes kiddos are just in a funk (not unlike adults), and sometimes they're just trying to see what they can get away with. It's not fun for us, but it's how they learn and test their limits.

My boys are pretty much slobs. I pick up constantly. The problem is their idea of 'cleaned up' and my idea of cleaned up are very different. I try to recognize when they've at least made an effort.

One thing they've been doing lately is not putting the Wii games back in the boxes. The games are expensive and I am always finding 3 or 4 games just laying on the TV stand and not put back properly. After several warnings, last week I unplugged the Wii and boxed it up (along with all the games). It stayed like that for about 3 days and, so far, it seems to have done the trick. ;)

Rachel said...

We're in a phase like that right now - and it's especially hard tryin to discipline with an audience! But she knows that misbehaving in front of others isn't the ticket to getting away with something.

I know what it feels like... and yesterday was so challenging that I said to Mr. Daddy, "Honey, do you see WHY I love babies?? :)

I love my son beyond measure and just keep thinking that our actions each day are building a strong Christian man who will raise his family someday too.

And bathtub crayons? Ours are actually the markers. They are GREAT! They come off fine if you rinse them within the same bathtime. We left ours up for a couple days because they were so funny - and they came off fine but took a bit of wiping with a cloth. They don't stain and are loads of fun :)