Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Elephant In The Room

I feel like a centerpiece that is placed in a room for the "conversation starter" effect.

I feel like a tacky figurine placed among expensive collectables.

I feel like a piece of furniture that just doesn't quite fit in any decor.

I am easily noticed, quickly picked out of a group.

Without telling you where I am in this photo, I am sure your Where's Waldo skills can pick me out in a matter of seconds.

I am use to short jokes. Trust me, I have heard them all.... and I have heard them all like 27 times. I don't mind being short most days. I know I am wonderfully made and I love who I am. This past weekend though, something struck a never. Another short person came up to me (one who I do not really know all that well mind you) and said "Wow I have never been taller than someone before!". I know she meant no harm. I know it was no big deal. Yet still, her voice is playing over and over in my head.

Someone tell me why it is okay to, in fun, pick on short people? Would you go up to a larger sized person and say something like "Oh my goodness you are the fattest person I have ever seen!" or "Wow I have never been the skinny one in the group!".... no, you probably wouldn't. Then why is it "okay" to say things like "Hey, you are the shortest person here"? I hate the thought that my kids will more than likely all have to deal with these same situations someday.

I would love to take a group photo and not stick out like a sore thumb. I would enjoy being able to stand in a crowd of woman my own age and not be mistaken for someones daughter or little sister. I would love to feel as though I fit in. Unfortunately, that will never happen. I hope the next time you are about to tell a short joke, or announce to a short person that they are in fact... short.... that you think of me and keep your mouth shut. And I mean that in the nicest I'm-just-trying-to-get-this-off-my-chest kind of way :-)


Rachel said...

Oh Amy - I'm sorry.

I know. I get the short AND deaf jokes ;)

In fact, I was so little in junior high, that they used to shove me into the lockers. In the gym. The HALF SIZE ones. And I fit.

I was one of the shortest girls in ballet. And definitely in fastpitch and volleyball. Wait till I find the team picture for ya.

Just saying I feel your pain. And maybe the other short person who made that comment... just said it trying to feel better about themselves.

Yes, you are fearfully and wonderfully made!

Brandi said...

Can I ask how 'tall' you are? It's hard to tell in photos... I mean, yes, I picked you out, but maybe those other people are just amazons? ;) I'm 5'2'', so on the short-side. And my hubby is 5'7''... my poor boys have no hope. haha. And, no one teases my hubby, but his younger sister and brother tower over him.

You ARE perfect. ;)

Heather said...

People say dumb things...it's in their genetic code.

We have heard them all though. Every.single.one.

It's taken me a long time to embrace my 5' tall, hairy arms that are too long for my body, funniest last name in school until I got married, self.

And now I love me, I love me because God made me and He loves me and He thinks I am beautiful.

And daggummit, I am adorable.
And so are you!

Kelly said...

Sometimes people feel the need to berate others to makes themselves feel better.

I think you are perfect, and beautiful. Made the exact way God intended you to be made, and that is no mistake.

HeatherOz said...

I know exactly how you feel! I have had people say that to me before too. I always say "that's why I'm her, to help you feel taller."
When I volunteer at Lily's school (5th and 6th graders) a lot of them are taller than me.
I am 4'11" and my hubby is 6'1".
I am really hoping my kids get his height. Lily is almost taller than me!

Tiffany said...

I am sorry friend. There is always that one person who is able to, intentionally or unintentionally, pick out the one aspect of our nature that brings us the most grief.

We are each wonderfully and fearfully made, no matter what we look like.

Beth Zimmerman said...

Actually hun, and I am not saying this to in any way chastise you or belittle your feelings, I, as an overweight person have heard that and worse! I'm coming to realize that my body is just a container for the important part of me. Those containers come in all shapes and sizes! And I need to take care of my container! But it doesn't come close to defining or describing me. That comes to those who are willing to come closer, to take the cap off and peer inside, maybe tip me up and pour me out like the little teapot! :)

I'm sorry words are so hurtful. I know that they are. It was probably 10 years ago that I stopped to get gas and there was a group of guys at another pump. One of them yelled at his buddies, "How would you like to have to make love to THAT?" And silly as it is ... that voice still resounds in my spirit when I look in the mirror or when I have to get gas for my car!

I do understand. I'm just trying really hard to see me as God sees me and not worry so much about what people think!

Emmy said...

My husband gets just the opposite-people saying stuff about how tall he is. So I think unless you are just average height, weight, hair color, etc something will be said at some point. But really who wants to be average? :)

But yes still doesn't make it okay. I felt very short around my husband's family for quite a while- his sisters are 6'1 and 6'2 and he is 6'8. I am 5'5" on a good day :). But I know they love me and I don't feel as short around them anymore.

Sarah said...

Amy you are beautiful! Don't let anyone make you think otherwise. ;-)

And you are not alone...we all have our own insecurities and things we are not so crazy about.

Love you!

lawrencochran said...

Amy! I remember when that was said because I was very near you. Honestly, I didn't even think about it because it wasn't ME they were talking about for one and I have never had that particular problem. However, sometimes I just feel awkward, physically and socially. I have felt very overweight and unattractive since I had Aubrie and some days I still tend to feel that somehow I'm just not quite as "normal" as everyone else. That if people had there choice to hang out with me or ANYONE else they would leave me in the dust in a heartbeat! Haha! I know this sounds mellow-dramatic, but it is what the enemy can do when you give him a foothold. I am just now becoming okay with myself. I am just now able to start letting go and actually LIKE that I don't fit in with other people sometimes. The more I try to act like someone I am not, the more awkward I feel. Because God didn't make me to be an immitator of anyone but Him! Yes, we are ALL beautifully and wonderfully made. You are an amazing person and God will do amazing things through you!