Monday, June 7, 2010

Sweet Memories

This was the last time I saw Uncle Larry. It was a joyful day. He and Aunt Mary had come to see Jayce. Look at that smile on his face! Contagious! I am grateful to God that Uncle Larry was able to meet Jayce. He prayed for him as well and that means more to me than anything. Jayce is being watched over by a very special man.

When I think of Uncle Larry, this is what I picture... a huge hug and special kiss. For as long as I can remember I have hated to tell Uncle Larry goodbye. It never failed... I would cry and beg him not to go. Oh how it would pull on his heart strings! I love looking at this picture.

The day that I heard Uncle Larry was not going to make it was no different. I cried and begged God not to let him go. I had a choice... I could go down to Charleston and see him one last time (sick, in pain, possibly not even knowing who I was or not able to talk to me) or I could stay home. I stayed home. At the time I was happy with that decision. I wanted to remember him healthy, well and happy. How selfish of me! He got a very rare chance to say his goodbyes, accept death and prepare to meet his Heavenly Father. Not many people get that chance. I blew it. I was thinking of me and not Uncle Larry. Now I have to live with that decision for the rest of my life. I could have hugged him one last time, heard his voice and told him how much I loved him. But I didn't. He may have wanted to see me one more time and tell me goodbye. But he didn't get to all because I was being selfish. I have a huge amount of guilt right now that I am praying for peace from. I know God will get me through it, but I also know it will take time. Uncle Larry meant the world to me and anyone who knows me could tell you that. Grieving is hard. Loss is hard. Knowing that Uncle Larry has legs and is walking with Jesus is not! Knowing that he will never suffer again is not! I am so glad that he is home! I am so glad that he is with his Mom and Dad and Brother again! I will get one more chance to see him again, and I am sure not going to blow it! I am going to live a life of Faith like Uncle Larry so that I know I will get that chance. Thank you God for giving me another chance by sending your Son to die on the cross so that I may have everlasting life!

I love you Uncle Larry and I can't wait to see you again. That is going to be a great hug, I just know it! I sure am going to miss you! You tell Granny, Granddaddy and Uncle Mark that I miss them too. Save me a place at the foot of the throne!

1 comment:

the Spocks said...

I am sorry that you lost Uncle. You are right you will be able to see him again, someday.