I feel like I am stuck in a tunnel and just can't seem to see that beam of light that assures you the end is coming.
I feel like everything I am doing with my kids is wrong and is doing more damage than good.
My kids are tough right now. Tough is putting it lightly.
I'm not saying they are out of control and horrible. They are just tough.
Every stage of parenting has its ups and downs. Right now BOTH my kids are in a down.
I can't lie... it's not fun. I feel like I am about to lose it. Like, really really lose it. You know?
There are times I have to remind myself that they love me. It stinks to have to remind yourself that you children love you.
I don't have the kind of kids who just come over to me begging to be held and loved.
I have two kids who know Mommy is going to meet there needs in life... and that seems to be enough for them.
Not for me.
I want my babies to be sad when I leave the house. I want them to (every now and then) want to be held and snuggled for no reason other than they love me.
Someone tell me what I am doing wrong?
Parenting is not easy, I know that. I just want to feel like I am doing a good job and the way they are acting these days, I just don't. Not even close.
There is so much pressure to be a good parent. I want to be a good parent. I want to be a godly example to my children, but I am so broken. I am the worst example for them to see and I feel so guilty for that. They deserve so much better.
This post is for me. To clear my head and get some of this off of my mind so I can focus. No need to pity party with me on this. Sometimes getting problems and worries out is the first step to dealing with them head on. I'm desperately trying to deal with this.