Dear Acne,
I was told that I would "grow out" of you. I was under the assumption that you were just going to stick around and make my high school years miserable. I guess I should have seen this coming though. I was also told by the same woman *cough cough* MOM *cough cough* that I needed to be fat in 4th and 5th grade so I could grow taller. And I quote.... "You have to grow outward so you can grow upward!".Lies. All lies. I have not grown and inch since then and YOU are still all over my face! I have used every product out there, and you still insist on sticking around. Why? What is so great about my face? I'm sure you could find a fantastic hormonal teenage face to jump on. Do you know how much it stinks to have a two year old tell you that there are boo-boos on your face? Yeah, it stings a little. So, if you don't mind, I would like to live the rest of my life without you. Now go away before I have to cover up all the mirrors in my house!
Sincerly,
The Lady With Boo-Boo's On Her Face
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Dear Kate,
Remember when I told you it was over? Well, I have confirmation for you. I know these pictures are sideways, but I took them with my phone. Lets take a gander....
Hey what's that? Oh, it's your books. Neat.
Wait, what does that sticker say... lets get a better look, shall we?
Yes Kate, your books are in the $3.00 bargain book bin at Big Lots. Is that enough proof for you? Please get a real job already.Wait, what does that sticker say... lets get a better look, shall we?
Sincerely,
The Crazy Lady In Big Lots Taking Pictures With Her Phone
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Dear Eric & Heather,
We are so glad we could help you guys out while you are on your mission trip to Costa Rica. We will "Wii sit" for you anytime! It is really no trouble at all. We feel the need to tell you though that we are planing on beasting your top scores. We are gonna stay up late every night and play Wii Fit and Wii Fit Plus like it is our job and we are getting paid! Eric, just so you know, I totally tore up your soccer score last night. How about 500 points! WOO HOO! Heather, I plan on reclaiming my ski jump tonight. It's mine and you know it! We so can't wait for you two to come back. Mainly because Lula Mae is missing you terribly, but also because we can't wait to see your faces when you see all the first place spots are ours! Mmmmwwwahahahaha! Have a great time though and don't worry about a thing! Love you guys!
Love,
The New Soccer Champion! IN YOUR FACE!!!!!!!!!!
7 comments:
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!! You crack me up lady! And I completely feel your pain on the adult acne - not fair AT ALL!!!
Awesome post!
My husband is waiting to outgrow acne also, not fair :(
If your acne letter works please let me know. I need to copy and paste it.
Those Kate books cracked me up!
Too funny about the Wii scores. You'll have to let us know their reactions.
Thanks for linking up!
If your acne letter works please let me know. I need to copy and paste it.
Those Kate books cracked me up!
Too funny about the Wii scores. You'll have to let us know their reactions.
Thanks for linking up!
Oh my gosh that is hilarious that you are beating all thier high scores on the Wii!
Someone needs to come up with a cure for acne! I can't take it any more!!!!
I am totally cracking up about the Wii! I was too embarrassed by my first bowling experience to hardly pick up a Wii again, LOL.
And Lula Mae's prayer? Sounds just like Itty Bit's! He is convinced that he needs to hurry to heaven because God has some super cool Lightning McQueen cars waiting for him. And yes, Jesus is going to play with him in heaven. I tell him to be patient, please :)
The acne... ACK! Me too! I have PCOS, and it's no fair having acne and wrinkles at the same time!
I found that the St Yves soap, with Ambi scrub is what keeps my acne in check. But it took years to find the right combo. I'm so sorry! Big hug!
Thanks for all the giggles in your letters!
Just so you know, I am back and I seriously doubt you have reclaimed #1 on ski jump. You had it for too long my friend!!!
And I hear ya on acne. Boo.
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