What's Been On My Mind

I have been questioning my birth plan ever since I found out I was pregnant with Jayce. Natural or epidural? Can I go natural, am I strong enough for that? I have to mention that Lula Mae's birth was, by God's grace, amazing for me! Here is a re-cap of my labor and delivery with her:

• My water broke at 2:09 am on May 13, 2008
• Charlie and I headed to the hospital around 2:45am (It didn't even cross our minds that we could stay home and see how things went... we were caught off guard by my water breaking a month early and were both half asleep so the first thing we could think to do was go to the hospital.)
  
• The nurse checked me for the first time around 3:30am and I was 2.5 cm dilated
• My doctor, Dr. Erickson was on call (thank goodness!) and suggested that I start Pitocin at 4:30... I told him to give me an hour and check me again. I wanted to see if I would progress on my own before I took any type of medication to "induce" labor (why induce when you are already in labor???) I have a great doctor who said it was fine. He explained that he only wanted to start the Pitocin because my water had broken and the longer you go the more of a risk there is on an infection, which is understandable.
  
• At 5:30 am I was ready for my epidural... the contractions were too much for me at that point. I had done no type of childbirth classes to learn how to handle the pain. So the epidural was my best option.
• 6:00 am I got my epidural. I was very comfortable and got to enjoy the rest of my labor. The nurse checked me right after my epidural was in place and I was almost 6 cm dilated. Everything seemed to be going very fast to be my first birth!
  
• 7:00 am Dr. Erickson check me and I was 9 cm! Charlie had gone back home to get some paperwork for his paternity leave so I had to call him and tell him to get back quick!
  
• 8:00 am I started to push.... I pushed so hard that after each set of pushes I had to rest through the next contraction because of the EXTREME nausea.
  
• At 8:45 the told me to stop pushing while we waited for Dr. Erickson to come back. He was there in about 10 minuets... longest 10 minuets of my life though!
  
• 9:11 am Lula Mae was born!

I suffered a 4th degree tear which took a little while to stitch up. Even with the epidural it was quite painful and I felt a majority of my stitches. It could be because they turned my epidural off about an hour before I started pushing so I kinda feel like the birth part was pretty natural. Although the birth didn't hurt. It was just tons of pressure and burning, but not pain. Now the stitches, that was pain. But all in all my labor and delivery was everything I had wanted it to be! If was fun, fast and joyful! From start to finish it was 7 hours. Dr. Erickson said that was very unusual for a first delivery. I felt very blessed that everything went so great!

So as you can see, I had an epidural with my first birth. This time around I have read a book on the Bradley Method. After reading the book I am still wondering if I will be able to go through it naturally or not. I just don't feel very confident in myself I guess. I have been praying very hard about this and I hope that by the time Jayce is ready to come I will feel at peace. I know that even if I do get the epidural I am no less of a women. Dr. Erickson and I have discussed that our goal is a healthy baby and a healthy mom. We both have a good understanding of that. I know that if for some reason I have to have a C-section that it is God's will and I trust Him. I also trust Dr. Erickson to make that decision for Jayce and I. I know that he does not want me to have a C-section unless absolutely necessary. I am very lucky to have such a wonderful doctor! Please pray for me to make the right decision when the time comes! I appreciate any prayers you can offer! It won't be long before Jayce will be ready to come and I will see if natural chldbirth is something I can do or not.