"How are you gonna do that?"
My first reaction, which I bite my tongue and don't say out loud, is "well I am going to push this baby out just like my other kids, hopefully". But that is rude, and I don't say that. Plus I know thats not what they really mean anyway.... or at least I hope that is not what they actually mean....
I know they really mean "How are you gonna hand over this baby?".
I guess they are expecting some long drawn out answer where I cry and and tell them I don't know. They always look confused by my answer.
I tell them I am not going to do it at all, God is. I tell them I am going to take it one day at a time, and pray every second of the way.
They also look at me crazy when I tell them this pregnancy is different than my others were. I have different feelings, different emotions, different everything. Don't get me wrong, I love her and feel connected to her, but it's so different. I truly believe God prepared me emotionally for this journey long before He even brought the desire to my heart.
I can't wait to deliver this baby. It will be wonderful and amazing and so incredibly special! I am more excited to see Esther and Scott hold their little girl for the first time! It will be a moment I treasure forever!
So how am I gonna do it? Only by the grace of God, joyfully and for God's glory!
Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for God's glory.
-1 Corinthians 10:31
When that day comes, yes I may have hormonal emotions to sort out, but I know my God is more than capable of dealing with those. I just feel so much peace and so much joy that I can't think to make myself look at delivery day any other way.
By God's grace I met this couple. By God's grace I am carrying this baby. By God's grace He is using me to bring this baby into the world healthy and safe. By God's grace this journey will have a beautiful ending!
Esther and Scott are being blessed with a baby through this journey, but the blessing I am getting is multiplied by a million!
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