Late Night Thinking

Last night was a tough one. I guess yesterday I overdid it with my housework, and boy am I paying for it now. When I was pregnant with Lula Mae I didn't have this problem. I could do what I needed to do, no problem. This time around it is so very different. I guess the added work of caring for Lula Mae is making this pregnancy a little tougher. The only problem is I am too OCD to just let the housework get behind. I am in such a physical and emotional battle with myself everyday! Well last night made me realize that for the next 6 to 10 weeks, whatever the case my be, I am going to have to let go of a lot of things. As I lay in bed last night in terrible pain, I started to feel so guilty. Jayce deserves the best, and me working too hard is possibly putting him in danger of being born too early. How selfish of me to want to have a spotless house while I am doing a much more important job with God! He wants me to take care of this life He blessed us with (both Lula Mae and Jayce! They should be my focus ALWAYS!). After 3 hours of terrible pain I finally called the hospital for some advice. Luckily, about 30 minuets before the "we need to go get monitored" mark, the contractions started letting up and the bladder pain eased off. So at around 4:00 am I was able to drift off... only to have to hear Charlie's alarm clock at 5:00 am.... So today, I am tired, but I am focused. Focused on my family and the true blessing that they are. Focused on spending all my time glorifying God. Focused on teaching my daughter to love God with all of her heart, mind and soul. All in all, just focused. God speaks to us in so many ways, and it is up to us to listen. I am learning to listen. I will ALWAYS be learning!

My late night thinking also made me realize how blessed I am to have my husband. Willing to jump up and get exactly what I need at 2:00 am even though he had to be up at 5:00 am. Willing to go back out to the store because he had forgotten (in a sleepy fog) half of what I needed him to get. Willing to do all of this without so much as a grumble, frown, roll of the eyes or talking under his breath. The support I have from him is more than I could ask for! I thank God every single day for my wonderful husband! I love you Charlie! Thanks for all that you do!