Here We Go!

All readers not interested in reading about *ahem* that time of the month, should avert their eyes. This is your warning... moving on.

Wednesday was DAY 1 of my cycle. Do you know what that means... all systems are go! On Monday I will be going to my very first appointment! AHHHHHH! And can I just say this was the loooooongest wait for a period ever!

I will be having my blood work and a super special ultrasound done. They are basically going to make sure my uterus is a happy place by filling my uterus with saline and then doing an ultrasound tp check the walls. Should be interesting. Then, let the hormones begin!

I'm slightly nervous about things now. What if they don't think my uterus is happy? What if something comes back wacky on my bloodwork? Things are just getting real, and we all know.... real is scary!

Once I go to my first appointment I should get my protocol, then I will know much more about all of this. Like I said, all of this is getting very real and it is kind of overwhelming. Not in a bad way, just in a this-is-really-happening kind of way. 

Letters Of Intent

Dear Period,

Never have I wanted you to start so bad in my life. Hurry up so I can call the doctor and set up my first appointment! The three C's are in order (cramping, cranky, cravings) so I know you are close. The suspense is KILLING me!

Love,

Incredible Impatient

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Dear Children,

This whole drive-each-other-totally-nuts-all-day-long is getting really old. I am trying to be patient, I am trying to give you space to learn how to deal with each other.... but dear goodness my nerves can't take it any more! The constant bickering is the most annoying phase yet. I love you both, but I feel like you hate each other. Please try to at least act like you love each other. I keep telling myself that this is just a season of life...  but I'm slightly terrified that this season is going to be like 15 years long. Sigh.

Love,

Your Very Exhausted Mommy..... Who Needs To Buy More Tylenol

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Dear Hubster,

I'm sorry. Your kids are crazy and your wife is about to start a substantial amount of hormones.... I'm sorry just does not seem to be enough. Enjoy your week away at training, you will deserve it for sure!

Love,

About To Be A Hormone Casserole

Normal Life

Last week was CRAZY BUSY, so this week, the kids may look like this....

 

 because I just don't have the energy to even care what they dress themselves in. Sigh. I am just thrilled that one of my kids has the ability to dress themselves, even if her style is... ehhhh.... eclectic? 

We are on summer break from school, but Lula Mae has been asking to do some work so I am not sure how long our break will actually be. Jayce is interested in "school" as well so it looks like my class just doubled for next year ;-) I am going to be buckling down and getting my school closet in order and ready to go! That is number one on my list right now. 

 Jayce is having a rough summer. His skin is bad. Really, really bad. We have an allergist appointment tomorrow to try and figure out if he perhaps has developed another allergy. He is also really asserting himself these days.... not in a good way. We have lots of fits, lots of time outs, lots of apologies, lots of spankings.... just lots of the nitty gritty part of parenting that people don't like to talk about. He is not quite as strong willed as Lula Mae, but he is still a pretty far cry from a compliant child. I know this is bad, but I have to remind myself that God made him perfect and just the way He wanted him. 

We have signed the contract for the surrogacy and it has been given back to all respective parties. Pretty soon I will begin my end of the deal. I'm basically PUMPED! 

Charlie and I took the kids to the beach for a day. It was interesting.  Jayce did not seem to like the sand, but he loved the water. Lula Mae even seemed to enjoy the water. I was pretty shocked! It was a fun day and I loved seeing them have so much fun. 

Normal life has just kept me so busy these days. I love normal life though. That is where amazing memories are made, that is where life lessons are taught, that is where God teaches us the most. However when normal life keeps me busy, my poor blog, like yours I am sure, get pushed to the back burner. I have been sneaking around in the shadows visiting your blogs and trying to keep up! I hope you are all having a great summer! 

Be back soon with more random updates from our crazy busy life!

Guess What We Are Wating For....

THE CONTRACT!

Yep! We have finished working on the contract and it has been signed... well half way. Considering that the 4 people involved in this journey live in two states it would be hard for us all to sign the contract at the same time. Therefore one party has completed the big signing stage, and we are anxiously awaiting our turn! After that....

BOOM!

The ball is ROLLING! More than rolling, the ball will be soaring through the air!

Are you all ready for this? See, because here is the deal... all of this is gonna be crazy emotional for me, and even more so for Esther. We have no idea how smooth or bumpy the next few steps are going to be. We have no idea what God has planned. One thing is for sure though, He is in this and I am trusting him 100%, which we all know is not easy all the time.

When God laid surrogacy on my heart, I had no idea how much He would stretch me through the process. I am learning a lot about myself, my relationships with people, my dependance on Jesus... so many things.

When you feel like God has spoken to you or laid something on your heart,  I am telling you... go for it! It is an amazing feeling and an even more amazing journey!

Don't worry, I will keep you posted on what is coming up next!

God Laughs While We Play Scrabble

Please just take a look at what I had to work with the other night while playing Scrabble with my Hubster. This was my rack 3 turns in a row....

One vowel....

 Replace second V with a G....

Replace G with X....

Are you serious?


(insert God laughing here)

The Little Things

Lula Mae loves drawing and writing. Her favorite thing to do these days is make cards and messages for people. After a tough day, nothing melts my heart like finding this on my nightstand.

And when I flip it over and see this.... 

...it blows my mind. Number one, it blows my mind how smart my 4 year old is to write so many things all on her own.... number two, it blows my mind how unconditionally loved I am by her. She sees the good in me, even when I can't. She loves me unconditionally, even though I don't show her that same unconditional love. She loves the Lord and I see that in the little things like this. I am honored to get to call her my daughter. The little things like this help make up for all that bad moments of the day for sure!