That Which Makes Me Smile......

As I Sit Here...

Listening to quiet worship music, reading my devotional, flipping back through my inspirational calendar, having my Bible time, I have come across some things that I just must share. If you read this post, you will know why. God is powerful and knows just what we each need, day in and day out.

Calendar

When a mother exudes a sense of peace, and tranquility, her family feels calm. Peacefulness brings healing to a troubled spirit. A peaceful mother is like a medicinal balm. Peace and assurance of Mother's love are necessary ingredients for a happy home. -unknown author

Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake. -Victor Hugo

God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things that can be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish one from another. - Reinhold Niebuhr


Devotional

"Why are you troubled?" He asked them. "And why do doubts arise in your hearts? Look at My hands and My feet." -Luke 24:38-39

Christ's willingness to continue drawing us to belief totally astounds me. At no time after appearing to His disciples in resurrected form did he say, "You bunch of idiots! I'm sick of trying to talk you into believing Me!". When the sight of Him wasn't enough, Jesus said, "Look at My hands and My feet.". We ourselves have often seen His hands by way of His constant provision and glorious intervention. We have seen His feet as He's gone before us. Surely we, too, have beheld the hands and feet of Christ with the eyes of faith. May we look again today- and believe!

Beth Moore: Believing God Day by Day


Bible

I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone O Lord, make me dwell in safety. -Psalm 4:8

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of me heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my redeemer. -Psalm 19:14




God moves through this house today. I feel it, I know it, I believe it. I have to finish off with this last thing I read:

Do what is necessary to nurture the spirit of stillness in your life. Don't let the enemy wear you so thin that you lose your balance and perspective. Regular time for stillness is as important and necessary as sleep, exercise, and nutritional food. -Emilie Barnes

How can I be afraid of anything after my quiet time today? He is working hard on me, and I am thankful. With time, I think healing will come and Christ will flow from me. Each day I am going to devote two blocks of time for stillness. One for me and my children together and another for myself. I encourage you to do the same. We are all busy, but may we never be to busy to simply be still and listen to God.

Continue to pray for me friends. Today the battle is going well, but I still have so far to go.

Reality

I have determined that as I add babies to my life, my anxiety and OCD worsen. Not drastically, but a noticeable increase. When I was pregnant with Lula Mae I had this thought in my head that having her would be rejuvenating, healing almost. I imagined that once she was born I would not be so obsessive and afraid. I was wrong. Then, when Jayce was born, it worsened more. The things I began to obsess and worry about were deeper than they ever had been. My heart will race, my stomach will turn, my head starts to hurt, my arms feel shaky, I begin to get antsy, I start to feel flush, I feel physically sick. On the outside I am not sure you can really notice, but on the inside I am screaming.

I feel as though my good days out number my bad, but it does not make the bad days any better. I pray day in and day out that my fears and obsessions will not burden my family. I don't want to hold them back and keep them from a "normal" life. My mind is always racing. There are days where it is so bad I can't make myself leave the house. I can't leave because I am worried that something terrible will happen to me or one of my children. I feel imprisoned by fear and anxiety. What will happen when we have another baby? Or two more? Or how ever many more God chooses? Will I be buried a live by all the fear and anxiety? Will I ever be normal?

Will I ever be able to... pump gas without thinking that it will explode? go on a cruise with my husband without worrying that the boat will sink and I will drown? get on a plane without thinking that it will crash? let my children enjoy playing in a pool without worrying that they will drown in front of my eyes? let my children walk trough a store without thinking that someone is following us, just waiting to grab them and I will never see them again? stop thinking that my children will sneak out of their Sunday school classroom, make it outside and get hit by a car or be kidnapped? fall asleep without thinking our house will catch on fire and I won't be able to get to my babies to get them out? stop worrying that someone will break into my house and hurt my family? This is really just the tip of the ice burg, unfortunately.

I never once have prayed for God to take these things away from me. He made me perfect, so they are there for a reason. God's word says over and over again that I have nothing to worry about. I am glad of that. Before I was saved, my fears were worse (if you can even imagine). God is working on me and He will never stop. So perhaps, someday, all these things will disappear. Scripture helps me make it through each day. Some days it helps more than others, but it always helps. Satan wants to win this battle, but I am determined not to let him. I have complete faith in God and his promises. All these fears and anxiety help me remember how dependent I need to be on Him. If that is the only reason they are there, I am okay with that. Each day is different, but they are all a blessing!

I Can't Resist ...

50% Off

I mean, can you? Today I am loading a few pictures onto Walgreens that I need to have printed. When I say "a few" I really mean an obscene ridiculous amount. I am loading 423 pictures. Catch your breath. Are you okay? I know, it's a shocker. In my defense, I have not printed pictures in a very long time. It is time to catch up the photo albums. Right now Walgreens online is offering 50% off all prints until Nov. 6. So basically I am getting $80.00 worth of pictures for $40.00. I love a good deal! So, if you are needing to print pictures, perhaps for the holidays, you should check out Walgreens online. I love them! They always have coupon codes and great gift deals.

Note: loading 400 plus pictures takes ........ FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!! Not the best idea I have ever had.

True Story Tuesday: Not So Exciting

Well it is time for True Story Tuesday everyone! I promised you a not-so-exciting story, and by golly, you are gonna get one! So here we go! Oh, and don't forget to visit my buddy Rachel for more stories!

Charlie and I had taken the kids to Lowes to look for some fall flowers (for me to kill). We let Lula Mae walk around and pick what she liked. Jayce was a happy boy riding in his stroller. After loading up the flowers we realized that we would probably need some potting soil because the ground here apparently is not great for growing things (it may or may not have more to do with the fact that I can kill kudzu ). So Charlie stepped away from his job of pushing Jayce to load up the large bag. I begin to walk off with the buggy, now loaded with flowers and soil.... and Charlie followed me after me. I turned quickly to him and said, "You may want to grab Jayce there babe." The look of panic that came over his face was apology enough. He felt so bad you guys. Now I can't say that he ever left our daughter (the beloved "first born" you know) anywhere, but I can't hold that against him. I can't, but I am sure someday Jayce will! All us parents have our moments!

Learning.... And Loving It!

Take a look into our mornings:

• After breakfast we get dressed, brush our teeth, fix our hair and then say our morning prayers. Then it is off to school in the playroom!
  
• We do the calendar (day of the week, weather)
• We go over Catechism questions
• We read our new words for the week
  
• We go over whatever math lesson is on the board for the week (numbers, shapes, etc.)
• We go over our Bible lesson and Bible verse for the month
  
• We go over all of our memorized Bible verses

During all of this Jayce is doing some independent play time (exosaucer, play gym, floor with toys)

• Quiet reading time for Lula Mae (20 minuets)
  

I spend some play time with Jayce if he seems ready for some attention. If he is content playing and exploring I clean up the kitchen a bit (wash bottles and cups, make bottles for the day)

• Table time for worksheets or workbooks (right now we are working on simple math concepts and phonics)
• Group reading time
  

Time to put Jayce down for a nap while Lula Mae watches Sesame Street so Mommy can finally take a breath! Our school is over for the most part, but we will work on other things throughout the day while we play!


Our mornings feel busy, but it is well worth it. With every day that passes I know that I am training and teaching my children. Do I wish I could just sit down and relax while Lula Mae plays and Jayce swings? Sometimes. But I would be robbing them of so much. There are days when I just want to play with them, so I do. Even when we play, we learn and explore. On the days when we have errands to run, I still try to make it fun and educational. I point out shapes in nature or words and colors in the store. I never want to stop teaching my kids. If I don't teach them, who will? Who else has more interest in them than I do? More than anything, I want to keep up with their hearts. Being with them and truly spending time with them is the only real way to do that. My life is centered around God and raising my kids for Him and I wouldn't have it any other way!